The Summer I Turned Pretty (Bald)

 Before

Having been a 'rock' musician most of my life (ages 11- 63), I have always gravitated to longer hair with occasional facial hair in the winter. My family is one with no receding hairlines let alone baldness. My last trim was in Summer of 2022. So I wasn't alarmed when a few months ago I noticed strands of hair leaving my head when I shampooed and when I removed the tie of my ponytail at bed time.  Thinking well, "there's plenty more where that came from.

Imagine my surprise when I realized the area right above my ears was turning bald. I've seen this look on various members of the X Gen or Y or whatever. 'Looked okay, but I began to get concerned. When Wifey brought it to my attention that half of the back of my head was also bald, Now that got my attention. 

First thought: I'm I dying? I felt fine, but looked like someone undergoing Chemo. 'Got in to see the Dermatologist pretty quick. She announced pretty quick "Alopecia Areata. I term I had never heard before, but now it seems to come up on a daily basis.  1 

How was this possible?

I am 99% certain it came as a result of an order of new pillows along with a new quilted bedspread (with matching pillow covers 2). 

I put the bedspread on the bed immediately and was delighted with the new look. We repainted the room to accommodate the colorful dragonfly quilt (with matching pillowcases 3). The actual pillows I put into the new colorful pillowcases were something special to fit the neck/head combo in a more helpful way for comfort so I was in a hurry to try them out. 

Sleep on the new pillows was pretty good. I continued for two weeks before taking the pillows out and changing them into regular legit matching sheet pillowcases 4.

The Dermatologist went right into battle mode. She was going to Bring Back My Hair! I was given steroid shots in my scalp and prescriptions for Minoxidil with a promise of a new 'wonder drug' that presumably would work wonders and BBMH.

As a good little patient I started these pills and topicals, but after a couple of weeks I began to question "Is this stuff good for me?" 5 The answer as you might have guessed, is no. 

Common side effects

• Nausea, upset stomach
• Diarrhea or constipation
• Dry mouth
• Drowsiness
• Rash or skin irritation
• Headache 
• Loss of sexual desire

More serious side effects

Some side effects can be more serious and warrant immediate medical attention, according to WebMD. These may include: 

• Anxiety: Substance-induced anxiety, particularly with medications affecting mood, can cause sleep problems, concentration issues, chest pain, and appetite changes.
• Dizziness: While not life-threatening in itself, dizziness can increase the risk of falls and injury, notes WebMD.
• Hallucinations: Some medications, especially when combined with others, may cause visual distortions or hallucinations, according to WebMD.
• Heart problems: Rapid heart rate, palpitations, or chest pain can be a side effect of some medications and should be checked immediately.
• Liver damage (Jaundice): While rare, certain medications can cause liver inflammation, leading to yellowing of the skin (jaundice), abdominal pain, fatigue, and other symptoms.
• Shortness of Breath: Adverse drug reactions can affect the lungs, causing symptoms like wheezing, chest pain, coughing, and difficulty breathing. 

 When the doctor's office called to tell me about the free samples they have for me I informed them that I decided I would learn to live as a Bald American 6 

1. Also known as the Yellow Convertible effect. "I bought a yellow convertible because you never see one on the road." After purchase: What's with all the yellow convertibles all of a sudden?  

2. In your mind, hear the first (low) note of the Jaws Theme.

3. Now hear the first two notes of the Jaws Theme

4. First four notes of "Jaws"

5. "War Pigs" - Black Sabbath (let's change it up)  

Church Then and Now

 

I started out as a child...

I just wanted to throw out something y'all could relate to. 

The subject 'Church' is something fewer and fewer relate to but just for the two of us, I'll tell the tale anyway. 

Then...

As a child I was introduced to 'Church' when my mother took us to Central Avenue Baptist Church on the west side of Chicago. She was raised in that sect. We (my sister and I) attended Sunday school and even VBS - Vacation Bible School (an oxymoron if there ever was one) 

At around 8 years old, my elementary school sent home a letter that my parents needed to let the teacher know if I should be released early on Wednesdays for something called "Catechism". My mother took me aside and asked point blank would I like to be a Baptist like her, or a Catholic like my father. 

I only had to think for 7 seconds before answering "Baptist, like you". This call was easy for two reasons:

1. I had never attended any Catholic services of any sort. My father had no love for the church.

2. From what my Catholic friends had shared, the nuns had a habit of bashing kids with a ruler for getting out of line. (I was often 'out of line')

I nearly got kicked out of VBS for explaining the 'trick' behind Jesus flying away after popping up from the dead. Let's just say the teacher was quite cross with me. I didn't want to Think about what the nuns would have done to me.

Calling this episode "Then and Now" makes it sound like my church going career was in two parts. It wasn't. 

A few years later, I was asked to be a church musician for a small church called "The Temple of Light". I was 12 and had already played in a band, so I passed the audition. Despite the name, the Temple of Light was in the ballroom of the Oak Park Arms Hotel. (home to my second favorite radio station WOPA). It was nice being part of this community and exposed me to a good deal of "New Thought" ideas and the 'show biz' part of church.  

Leaving Chicago for a new life in Houston, I kinda expected to never do much churchin' again. For several years (about 5) I did not attend church but still keeped an interest in it. Meaning I read the religion section of the Chronicle every Saturday. 

At the age of 26 I was able to land an apprentice position in piano technology at a small family owned shop. Early in my hire, the owner informed me they had a rule that everyone that worked there needed to be in church on Sundays. If I didn't have one, he insisted he would pick me up and take me to his. Apprenticeships like the one I was getting were as scarce as hen's teeth, so don't comment that HEY THAT'S ILLEGAL!!! 

A church I had been reading about, First Unitarian sounded like my port of refuge, so wife and I went to check it out. Everyone was friendly and accepting, and I didn't have to lie to fit in. 

My Unitarian career lasted almost 40 years. I was a member and a hard working volunteer at 4 area churches. Participated in regional meetings (AKA SWUUSI) among other gatherings.

A new congregation was being formed in NW Houston the early 90's, so with all the leadership training the UUA had invested in me I joined as we were going to build a wonderful, influential, oasis of culture and learning in this growing part of Houston. 

Fast forward 25 years, that never really happened. 

It takes generous people with deep pockets to create the infrastructure along with continuous dynamic leadership to create the kind of church we set out for. The congregation has continued as a "small church" with reliable offerings for the community. But never reached what most of us thought of as it's potential.  

 I could go on about this, but let's leave it there. 

The Now Part

Current wife and I have been members of Unity of Houston about 7 years now. We both were deeply involved in our former churches and began volunteering at Unity with the kids, choir, small groups. 

Covid and camping seemed to pop that bubble and we got out of the habit of regular attendance let alone putting in extra time volunteering. In short we held the church at arms length (though remained members and supporters). 

A-HA - The Point of this blogging

I had an A-HA experience recently at a church celebration. It was a fine party with a good band, dancing and food (for eating and for thought). Everyone was having a wonderful time, love was in the air. I was hanging back observing when I suddenly realized that THIS was the church we had hoped to create back in the 1990's. 

OMG if our efforts (in the UU church) had yielded anything half this productive, I would have died happy (so to speak). A great deal of what Unity IS has been handed to late comers like myself on a silver platter (as my mom would say). Standing on the shoulders of giants, etc. 

Where will this lead? A boundary I didn't quite know I had has been done in so what happens next will be up to me, I only know things will be different. 

Last Train to Splitsville

These posts are related to the end of my 35 year marriage to Rita (Cooper) Cusack. I am not the first or the last guy to have his heart broken by the experience of love lost, but that does not change much when you are in the middle of this type thing.

Everything feels tentative, and there ARE many unknowns on the part of us both. One thing I know to avoid is speculation on "What if". W.I. this, W.I, that...
Let me make it through this day, and not do anything too stupid... that's good enough.

Being around Son has given me strength. Hearing the problems he has to cope with (many are huge) I think "my challenges are pretty straight forward" I just got to get down and tackle them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE

Years later I look back at how some close to me seemed to admire the resilient way I came through the breakup. Here is the secret: (put your face closer to the display)

"Moving forward" is kind of my super power. I haven't forgotten the past, I just don't pull it along with me. The windshield is large, the rearview mirror is small. There is a reason for that. Set aside 10% of your energy to honor the past, 90% to take on the future.  

Life in Which World?

I don't think of myself as an alternative lifestyle person, but sometimes I wonder...
Like when I have to kill time before a meeting or appointment and wander into the Galleria, or find myself holed up in a hotel for two days with cable television for company.

The overload of marketing stimuli in a modern shopping mall is like a horror flick in 3d to me. Good God, you mean I have to buy all this stuff to validate my existence?
Same with the cable TV. The Springsteen song comes to mind: "57 Channels and Nothing On". All that bandwidth to fill, and this stuff is the best they can come up with?
OK, it DOES occur to me whenever I find myself feeling like a stranger in a strange land, "I must be in the wrong demographic." And maybe that is what is happening here.

Are these people in the right demographic going to be alright?

Celebrity's Memoirs

 I've been listening to various actors, rock stars, etc. tell their stories in audio book form for a couple of years now. I find it interesting to learn about the arc of some of these folk's lives.

 BTW, I only spend my time with people I find interesting, this eliminates about 9/10  of the 'stars' in People or Us magazines. Full disclosure; I actually get both of these rags despite the fact I never ordered them. OK, OK, I do crack them open for a perverse look at how Celebs are Just Like Us! only thinner, way more beautiful, and just... glamorous!!

Who have I listened to and enjoyed hearing about? 

Bruce Springsteen

Steven Van Zandt

Matthew McConaughey

Nick Offerman

Among many others

I look forward to hearing about how they were influenced by Dad, Mom, Coach, whoever and took a leap into the Big Time after eating cold beans out of a can for two years. (So to speak). The mechanism of rags to riches / fame and fortune. fascinates us all right?

Well, gentle reader, I have decided to do my own story here in these blog pages. 

Stay tuned for the did and the didn't of my career. 

Yes, all you people that ask: 

"Cubil, What happened?"

 with a sad tone in your voice will finally find out 

That yes: 

I did write write, record, and release a number of my own songs - and people liked them!

I did travel and play some tony (and tiny) gigs

I did appear on television many times, even national TV

Performed in front of  +50,000 fans multiple times... as well as (basically) empty rooms

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I'm looking forward to figuring out what happened myself, this could be fun!

Unexplored Worlds

 

I had a request for an early morning tuning at a school. I wasn't happy about it, 'don't consider myself an early morning person. I got to the school, knocked out the piano tuning, and split before 9am. Low on groceries, so a stop by the Kroger was in order. Wow! Nearly empty parking lot! It dawned (NPI) that there is a whole early morning world out there I have been sleeping through. It brings to mind the late night world I once inhabited years ago in my 20's. 

Some stores stay open late, so I would do some shopping at 1am- 2am. Wearing my tuxedo (lounge band attire) having the store pretty much to myself and whatever other weirdos happen to be there.

The great thing about early up and at'em is you feel soo productive! Puttering can take 7/8 of our lives if we let it. When you're done, you realize you haven't really done anything but waste time.

Marriage

 "What do you Love Most about Your Spouse?"

That was the question on the website. I smiled thinking of her. I've smiled when thinking about her since the day we met. 😊

It is due to the way we connect. (Amazingly well). 

The sound of her voice.

Her laughter. - I really do love that...

Her compassion for people and animals.

Her fashion sense - a good dresser, and pretty woman to boot!

What I love most honey is all the things you are.