Saturday, June 27, 2009

Great Moments in Rock


Everyone can talk about something they have witnessed that stuck with them. Usually it's some superstars getting together to save the world or something, that's cool.

I maintain great moments happen in rock all the time by people not at all well known.

One came to me from my dim and distant past (most of the people I knew then are dead or in the nursing home).
The band was a group I moved to Austin to start right after getting married (1973). I can't tell you the name of it, we could not agree what to call it, so we each referred to it by the name we liked best (hoping the others would like it). I called it Jack Frost. Like many bands, we spent most of our time rehearsing in our living room. Yes, like the Monkees, we lived together - 8 people in a 2 bedroom house. Hang on, I'm getting to the "great rock moment in a minute or two.

We got our first job playing a homecoming dance for Waco High School. I was the point man, 'played guitar, organ, electric piano, saxophone, flute, and sang a bit. On our first gig, we were doing a song with twin lead guitars ("Blind Eye" by Wishbone Ash if you must know). When it came time for the twin guitars to do their thing, me and the real guitarist came simultaneously charging out to the front of the stage as if we had done this on the last 14 shows, when in reality, we never practiced it (in our cramped living/practice room? No way!) Didn't discuss it, or even think about it until "it" happened. We happen to glance at one another on the way out and traded grins. "This IS rock and Roll" Thought I...


About 10 years later I was emcee at a punk rock concert at a downtown park. A young group not unlike my own in 1973 took the 'stage' (flat spot actually). Their twin guitars came charging out with mucho gusto... and pulled their stacked amplifiers over in a tremendous crash. The guitar player's cables were too short! A 'great moment' thwarted by a tiny miscalculation. Fortunately punks thrive on this sort of thing...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

More Death and Dieing

Catchy title huh? Although this may have run off my reader, I'll admit now I'm mostly writing for myself. Today was a rough one for the celebrity world, Farrah and MJ both checked out. One expected, one sudden and without warning.

Something similar happened yesterday. A long-time friend and colleague also checked out suddenly without warning. Ironically the day before we were talking about all we had been through with our mothers in the last 2 years. Attempting to manage their slow baby steps toward transition.

Even though the slow dieing process is tough on everyone, it gives you time to get used to the idea. When someone just quites breathing like my friend DL, it just sends a shock wave out over everyone. This, of course isn't something we get to choose, but if we did, I'll admit, I would rather take a little time.

Several years ago, another friend was one of the first I knew to get AIDS while working on a cruise ship. There was a kind of going away party for him at a local nightclub (while he still had the strength to attend). After thanking me for coming, he said, "Bil the one good thing about this disease is that it gives you time to put your house in order".

I guess that is the one good thing.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another One Bites the...

This may be my year for really dealing with the mortality issue. A long-time friend and colleague died while I was on the way to his house this morning. Just yesterday he was telling me how he was over the cancer and on his way to new horizons...

His wife described the event as "he just stopped breathing".

I was there when the ambulance drove away. I asked M how it looked. She said "they don't tell you anything, I just have to go to the hospital and find out".

When she got there she found out he was DOA.

I once stopped breathing. Funny thing breath, it's one of the things you can't go long without.

I had a bad case of bronchitis, had been coughing for days. One night after bedtime, I got up for the bathroom, and started coughing on my way. Suddenly, after a long coughing exhale, I found I couldn't breath (inhale) again. This is very similar to drowning, but without the water.

My first impulse was to run outside (as if there were more air out there).
Then I realized my body would be laying out in front of the house. The neighbors would stare, it would be a big show, etc. I decided to stay put.

Then I thought of a story I read where a man needed an emergency trake. In the story this was performed by sticking a Bic pen in his neck. I briefly considered this.

Then rejected it.

I was about to pass out, so I decided to lay on the floor, so I wouldn't bump my head when I went out. My forehead was touching the carpet, I was on my knees. I relaxed, waiting to go black. . .

When suddenly air filled my lungs! I was breathing again!

We went to the hospital to check on it. A total waste of time. They kept asking me if I swallowed something, I kept saying no, I cough alot though. They took x-rays, sent me around to different people on duty. No help, no answers.

About a year later I was telling this story to a friend who worked in Respiratory Therapy.
He said "oh, sounds like spastic bronchs". This is when you irritate your bronchs till they just irritate you back (by not responding).

The whole experience made me want to wear a tag that says: Do not bring to emergency room unless

A: bleeding to death (must be sewn up)

B: Broken bone(s) are sticking through my skin

RIP Donnie

Monday, June 22, 2009

TV Nowhere


Is there anybody out there?


I don't know how it is at your house, but at mine we are not watching much television since the "digital changeover". It's not that I'm too cheap to buy the converter (I am too cheap to buy a digital TV), I paid good money (well the gob'ment did) for a converter box which proudly sits upstairs on the bedroom set. I currently gets channel 2, 2a, and 12 channels of foreign programing. And that's it.


Oh, I also did my part for the economy by buying a gadget that plugs into my laptop to make it receive broadcast TV. So now downstairs I can watch 9 different religious networks and a infomercial channel. Does upstairs and downstairs exist in different dimensions?


We switched to seeing our programs on DVDs from Netflix about a year ago, and like it just fine. Although I am missing those quality news programs *

And our beloved channel 8 (PBS) It was sort of like cable.

I've always been fascinated by the concept of "pay TV". To me it rings like "Blueberry Milk". I've never paid to have the boob-toob shine in my home, never seriously considered it. I do look when staying in a hotel, why not? Now and then something shows up that is not bad to pretty good.

AND the hotel is paying...


*bring up laugh track here

Thursday, June 18, 2009

How I'm Spending F -Day


I decided this year the best way to really enjoy this treasured national holiday (Father's Day) is hire some kids to hang out with me for the day. You know, go out drinkin' and stuff.

So I checked Craigs List and sure enough there were more kids available than you can shake a stick at. I got this little guy for the day without giving up any cash, I just tuned their piano...
Ok, it cost me extra for him to call me "dad" in front of people.
Now I just need one more ( a girl), it's hard to do this and not look like a pervert. I promise, they will just drink Shirley Temples (they still call them that).
Look for us on Alabama, well be doing a pub crawl due south.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

What is your name again?


You know how you get a red convertible and the next day it seems you see red convertibles everywhere? I don't know what that's called, but I'm sure they have a name for it. I'm on one of those jags now, and I want off!

My problem is with folks not doing much in the way of getting their job right. I'm seeing an epidemic of this almost everywhere I look. I'll explain how it started:
We decided to buy a house, fix it up, and rent it. You know, start a little passive income for the later years. Found one, made the deal, hooked up the financing, and then a week and a half before the closing, suddenly got told we didn't qualify for the loan after all! Odd, a few weeks ago they loved us, now we don't cut it.
Conversations with people in the business reveled this loan officer wasn't following the new rules that went into effect May 1. It's all complicated real estate gobbledy gook, and I'll spare you the details. Point is, he wasn't up on his rules-of-the-lending-road. Hey, we all make mistakes right?
Except when you're in business and your mistake costs your client a bunch of money, then it's liable. The wheels just started turning on this, I'll let you know how it shakes out.
I just hung up the phone with an on-line music products company. I ordered an item 2 weeks ago, it never came. I did get 2 emails yesterday saying the card was declined, thank you very much. They had things so wrong I don't even know where to begin correcting them. To their credit, a nice man came on the phone line and one by one fixed all the screw-ups, saw to it the card was approved, and second-day shipped at no charge.

Now THAT guy understands customer service!
How about that airline that sent peoples kids to the wrong destination?
The Nevada Senator? Forgetabboutit!
I tell you the stories on this are off the charts...
(Sorry... I started channeling Rodney Dangerfield there)

I'm not looking for perfecshon, but when you trace the steps for many of these incidents, you find one error laid over another until it looks like a (mental) pile of smashed cars on the freeway.
In spite of the great technology, instant communication, advanced business systems, we get pummeled daily by people with a lack of desire to do a good job.

Want to really stand out?
Whatever business you are in?

Check your work before you turn it in, if it has errors, correct them. When someone is talking to you, stop what you're doing, thinking about, etc. and just listen to them. Repeat what they asked of you (for verification).This will make you a hero in any environment.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Visit to the State Penn


I've only been behind bars twice, both times on piano related business. Once in the Harris County jail, and again today in Angola State Penitentiary in Louisiana.


I did some checking earlier this week, as the name rang a bell, but didn't really know anything about it. Turns out it is a giant place that has been in existence for 150 years. Many of those years known for brutality and prisoner on prisoner violence. I expected the worst.


As it turned out, my time there (about 2 and a half hours) was pleasant. Well, it was hot waiting for my escort to show up at the front gate, but in all not bad for a prison. It's hard to tell the inmates are convicts, the ones I saw just wore street clothes. You would not mistake them for the guards, they were all in dark uniform.


Just going through the entry and exit procedures were enough to give one pause. My vehicle was really patted down by guys who wore t-shirt proclaiming them the "shakedown crew". Then I was sent into a building to stand in the "dog booth". I thought I had mis-heard. But sure enough, I stood in a booth while a fan forced my air into the face of a drug dog (next to the booth). Since he didn't bark or go nuts, I was allowed in. I suspect you would not want to get in there right after burning a doobie.


My tools were held for obvious reasons, the saw, files, etc. I was told if I were to bring in a screw driver and it got lifted, they would likely have to retrieve it from someone's back...


The grounds were beautiful, the convicts I met were nice guys, that I enjoyed meeting and talking with. The show is tomorrow night, I will go back at around 10pm to pull the piano, so I'll see the place day and night. Let you know what that's like...

Monday, June 8, 2009

David Carradine and Choking the Chicken


As a young person, I always enjoyed the Kung Fu series, me and my friends would seldom miss it. The star, David Carradine seemed like a cool guy and was well respected off stage by peers and critics alike.


So what's the deal?


Being found dead in a closet with one's genitals tied by a rope (did I forget naked?) is MY #2 least favored way to die *. I came to this conclusion many years ago during the last auto-erotic fad in the 70's: A Rice U. student was found hanging in a tree on campus with his pants around his knees. I wasn't yet a parent at the time, but I felt for this guy's parents. You have this kid, he's attending one of the finest schools in the country, and now they're cutting him down from a tree where he was attempting to get his jollies. GET ME RE-WRITE!


I have to finish this, I have to get a note off to Leonard Nimoy. I will beg him PLEASE do not mess with this stuff. It turns you into a punch line for years to come.
Or at least be sure to use a spotter.
* #1 is being found in bed with a dead bear

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Obama Urges Folks to get their piano tuned


I've been noticing this form in internet marketing. I was tempted to use it in Craigslist, I may still. I think it's funny. In the several decades of being in business, we've used (without their knowledge or permission) Mr. T: "Get your piano tuned fool!",

Ronald Reagan: "America's pianos are tuned by Tune America", and a number of funny photos of people I never knew the name of.

So add me to the guys telling you "Obama urges Mothers to go back to school"
or

"Obama urges homeowners to refinance"
how about

"Obama urges everyone to sell out rock concerts that use large grand pianos"

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Last Time I Saw Richard...

Wasn't in Detroit '68, but in Austin at UT a couple of Springs ago. It had been close to 3 years since I had done any work for the show, when I got a call to bring the piano for the UT 40 Acres event (an outdoor festival on campus). It was a nice reunion with the band, they are all nice cats. Leader Wayne and I operated with the understanding we were both there to do and be the best for the show. Lucky for us both, Wayne's well-known temper had never been directed towards me.
The hours-long sound check was over, everything proved to be ready, and it was Showtime!

The days of L.R. standing on pianos were over, he appeared on crutches. Crippled, but still looking and sounding good. Then the horror started.

After the long vamp, he started testing the piano, and something was not right!
The notes were all sustaining like the pedal was stuck. Oh no! I checked everything I could check, but it was in the electronics and I could not figure out the source of the problem. Wayne said "grab the keyboard and put it on top of the grand".
That was done but now L.R. could not reach it. He also could not stand for even one song.
Now somebody said "get a trunk, he'll have to sit on it". I grabbed an amp case and put it on it's side. Now we had Little Richard propped high on a trunk with his feet dangling down. I quickly wondered which hip he would break when he toppled over, when suddenly, one of UT's finest (by this I mean students) showed up with a bonified stool. We pulled L.R. off the makeshift trunk-seat and plopped him on the stool. and the show rocked on...

Well, afterwards I knew I was in for it. I didn't hide or avoid, I went to Wayne and apologized. To my utter amazement, he said "hey don't worry about it, these things happen", gave me a hug and said "take care, we'll look for you next time".

I'd like to thank the gods (or whom it may concern) for a classy ending to a long rock and roll road trip. Below is a video of that same show, right before the excrement hit the wind tunnel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=493bewScSs0

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The First Time I Worked for Little Richard


The original title of this piece is The First and Last Time I Worked for Little Richard. The first story got too long, so the second part I'll publish later.
---------------------------------------------------
By the sound of the title, you probably think I worked one Little Richard Show, but it was closer to 20 over a long number of years. It occurred today that perhaps the most interesting of all these was the first one and the last.
By "worked for" I mean I supplied the piano (and prep for the piano) on his shows. This is going back to the early '90's.

The first show I had a call for was in Galveston for a summer event at Moody Gardens. They might have been opening their latest pyramid or some such thing.
The concert was on the airport runway next to the Moody complex and stared Blood Sweat & Tears, Dr. John, and (The Beautiful) Little Richard.

This was my first L.R. show and I was excited, after all, this man is a god (in Rock and Roll), and has been a major influence on everyone who ever picked up a guitar (or rock piano).

Not to drag this out, it was an all day deal with multiple sound checks, etc. and when evening came and the concert started, well, let's put it like this: They were planning for 8,000... 800 showed up. That is a lot of empty runway space.

Musically, the shows were terrific. BS&T I had not seen since my 16th birthday sounded better than I remembered. Dr John, who I had been a big fan of since his first album was also great with a 5 piece horn section.

It began to get weird after the BS&T show ended. I went up to do a final check on the piano, and some goons told me I had to leave. Now. I tried to explain I had a job to do, but they countered with if I didn't leave, the show would be canceled and it would be my fault.

I left.

From then on it was like a totalitarian dictatorship transferred in from behind the Iron Curtain. These guys who looked like secret service agents went around ordering everyone around, muttering into walkie-talkies and threatened the meager audience that L.R. would not come out if they all didn't back up 9 feet from the stage... it was all pretty crazy.

Finally it was Little Richard Time! After giving us all time (about 10 minutes) to admire His Beauty (by standing on my piano and posing) he sat down and did his show. Which was good except:

  • he claimed he saw people video taping him and so threatened them with his goons.
  • He complained bitterly about how much he hated the piano.


Yep, in front of friends and family (mine, not his) he bitched about what a piece of crap the gleaming white grand piano was and how he was going to chop it into firewood, etc.

I wanted to fall through my a** hole and disappear. I had fantasies of getting a picture with him and the whole nine yards. Now I was caught between shame and humiliation.

When the ordeal was finally over, I ran up on the stage to check it - none of the things he claimed were true! WTF?! I thought...

I got a lot of good-natured kidding from my buddies "Bil, Little Richard wants to see you in his trailer". I wrote letters of apology/explanation to the producers (the agent appreciated that). Then heard the rest of the story: After finding out 90% of the expected audience didn't show, L. Richard was looking for an out. All the trouble making was about him being pissed at the low turnout.

Here's the kicker:

4 days later I got a call from his bandleader asking me to come work for them at the New Orleans Jazz Festival.