Even THINKING This Would Get You Horse Whipped in MY Day!

Okay, so during a service at my Unitarian church, Michael Servetus was mentioned as a guy (in history) that read the Bible and noticed there was no call for us to accept a "Holy Trinity" in our theology. So he printed a pamphlet to help people realize their mistake call "On The Errors of the Trinity". This promptly got him on the sh*t list of several people, and the Christian version of a fatwa was called as a response. Upshot: M.S. = BBQ

This got me to thinking about the things that have gotten people riled up to call for a lynching (or at least a sever beating) for offending the public's sensibilities.

Being an old guy, I search my memory for things that people held near and dear when I was a child. We are talking about the 50's here.

What I remember personally is this:

• "Whites and Blacks do not mix" (not talking about laundry here)
• There was a weird attitude towards "Jews". Tried to figure that one out, but never could make any sense of it.
• "Only people of low morals get divorced"
• I am pretty sure everybody "loved the lord with all their heart" at least in public.
• Homosexual people only existed in Europe

These are a few of the things things I remember. I'm sure generations before mine have other forms of behavior that were demanded from people in general. The further back you go, the sillier they seem. Yet, people lived and died on 'The Rules'.

Adventures in Chinese Food Delivery - Chicago Style

If you wonder where I got my work ethic, it was from the knowledge that if I wanted something, I could get it, but I would have to work for it.
I worked Saturdays on my father's used car lot to earn enough to buy a banana seat for my bicycle (age 9), and by age 11 I was ready for the big time: a job at the neighborhood supermarket. I got my Dad to front me in by telling them I was 13 when I was only 11. I had my growth spurt, so you couldn't tell. That was followed by a position as "Super Scooper" (I gave myself that name, even used it on my tax return) I might have earned $1/per hour, but it was probably less.

Finally I was 17 going into my last year of high school. I needed a job. My landlord, Clifford Royce got me in at this factory in Addison IL. We made things out of wire. I made it through the winter, then got fired that spring when I asked the owner for a raise.

The Shanghai Inn did a brisk delivery business in downtown Chicago, and they paid daily. Sounded good to me. So now, we present, a few adventures of *"Chinese Food Delivery Guy".

Howard Dong, the owner and bossman, handed me a menu and said "put this on your dashboard and you will never get a parking ticket". Being 17, I believed him, and that menu became my talisman that protected me from all harm: Parking tickets, mugging, etc. Just to be safe, I always parked as close to the door of the building as possible. This often meant double parking, but sometimes meant triple parking. I wasn't taking any unnecessary chances.

Among some of the fun times; Waiting at the main post office for someone to meet you and pick up their order. This was not desirable on account of those people NEVER tipped. One time I went with a big order and waited / /  and waited / / then decided  I must be in the wrong location and drove to the other end of the block. The guy I was waiting for came up to my window all out of breath screaming at me. "Didn't you hear me? I was yelling at you from down the block!!" He was furious. How could I hear him with my extra cool Blankeput radio going at 90db? I thought he was going to reach in and strangle me!

Then there was the time I was at the welfare hotel with an order. This was a place where the desk clerk was behind a thick window and you push your little green pieces of paper through a special slot, and they pushed your key back at you.
Well, there was somebody ahead of me, it was around midnight, so I patiently waited my turn. After about 5 minutes or so, he wandered away and I approached the window.
Two big church ladies were behind the glass.
They said "Did you SEE what that man did?!?"
I said "No mame, Shanghai Chinese Delivery"
Ignoring that, they replied : "He was pushing his Rodney at us through the change slot!"
Ignoring that, I said "Can I take this order up to the customer, or can you call them to come down?"
It was only later in the elevator their words sank in and I about pissed myself laughing.

There are dozens of stories from this time; cars catching fire, taxi cabs crashing into me and so on.

18 months of this nonsense without ever being robbed. Somehow in the back of my mind I knew the odds were stacking up against me. One bright sunny afternoon, I was walking across a field to a low income highrise when I was struck with a panic attack.

It was time to find a new career.






* I lost my publicist from the ice cream days, hence, no fancy titles with this one.

Transferred to Cleveland...

Years ago we knew this mother with a small child and a dog (there was a husband in there somewhere too). One day we were at her house and noticed no dog. When we asked about it, she replied "He got transferred to Cleveland".

Puzzled, we asked her to explain.

"That's what we told Missey" That wasn't the cat, that was the child.
"She knows her uncle got transferred and went away, so that seemed like a good way to go with the dog"

When we asked what really happened with the dog, she explained "he was in the way, we didn't want it anymore, he went to the pound".

I realized that phrase had become part of my vernacular when me and my K9's were on a walk passing a yard and the dogs that usually go crazy when we walk by were quiet. I thought "I wonder where those dogs are today?" Then, "I guess they were transferred to Cleveland." After a few minutes the dogs sensed us and went crazy as always. Just on a break it seems.

I don't recall exactly who that person was now, but she and that family didn't play much of a roll in our social life after that. I guess you could say our interest in them got transferred to Cleveland.

Where did YOU get your Ten-Thousand Hours?

So I am watching a documentary about Frieda, the Beatles secretary for 11 years, and I learned that the group played The Cavern Club far more than I had believed. My impression had always been "the lads" had mainly cut there teeth in Germany.

Frieda had said they performed there something like 192 times, and she had been there for 158 of those shows. Pretty impressive for all of them.

The whole thing got me to thinking of MY Cavern Club, The Carousel Club in Houston Texas.
I started there in early February 1974 just as I was turning 21. I worked with the band  Bittersweet 6 nights a week until October of that year. Let's do the math: That is 54 nights of shows, each night being 4 sets. Not quite on par with the Fab Four, but the idea is the same.

The Carousel; A very interesting place.
The first time I went to check it out, was to answer an ad at the local music store. "Band seeks keyboard player". I made a call, the guy told me where they were, and invited me to drop in.
I went incognito, so that I could leave if it was terrible and no one would be the wiser.
What I found was a band that could draw the crowd in to what they were doing, but sometimes seemed unsure of what they WERE doing. I saw potential, and (most importantly) a gig.

Some snippets of life at the Carousel; Characters abound. on the stage and in the audience. Chili Willy, Earl the Squirrel, Duke of Earl, Jeneane, OMG they all even had there own catch phrases like;
first person: Watcha doing Earl?
Earl: Workin'

That was Duke of Earl, he was a longshoreman union guy. Clocked in 89 hours a week,

A friend of my sisters came out in a big group, and talked with me on a break said "I can't figure out if this is a high class joint or a low class nightclub". Best not to strain yourself thinking about it. Just have fun.

We had groups show up having their wedding reception with us, greasy guys just getting off work, the whole nine yards. Streaking became a national past time so we started a skinny dipping feature on Saturday nights by encouraging people to jump naked in the pool. Many did, including me.

We worked up an oldies show there that took us up and out. It was fun for everybody. 6 weeks after we left the Carousel were were installed at the Galleria Roof, the #1 nightclub in Texas. A tremendous success there led to bookings all over the country. Not the Beatles, but a pretty good way to spend my early 20's.