Life in Which World?

I don't think of myself as an alternative lifestyle person, but sometimes I wonder...
Like when I have to kill time before a meeting or appointment and wander into the Galleria, or find myself holed up in a hotel for two days with cable television for company.

The overload of marketing stimuli in a modern shopping mall is like a horror flick in 3d to me. Good God, you mean I have to buy all this stuff to validate my existence?
Same with the cable TV. The Springsteen song comes to mind: "57 Channels and Nothing On". All that bandwidth to fill, and this stuff is the best they can come up with?
OK, it DOES occur to me whenever I find myself feeling like a stranger in a strange land, "I must be in the wrong demographic." And maybe that is what is happening here.

Are these people in the right demographic going to be alright?

Celebrity's Memoirs

 I've been listening to various actors, rock stars, etc. tell their stories in audio book form for a couple of years now. I find it interesting to learn about the arc of some of these folk's lives.

 BTW, I only spend my time with people I find interesting, this eliminates about 9/10  of the 'stars' in People or Us magazines. Full disclosure; I actually get both of these rags despite the fact I never ordered them. OK, OK, I do crack them open for a perverse look at how Celebs are Just Like Us! only thinner, way more beautiful, and just... glamorous!!

Who have I listened to and enjoyed hearing about? 

Bruce Springsteen

Steven Van Zandt

Matthew McConaughey

Nick Offerman

Among many others

I look forward to hearing about how they were influenced by Dad, Mom, Coach, whoever and took a leap into the Big Time after eating cold beans out of a can for two years. (So to speak). The mechanism of rags to riches / fame and fortune. fascinates us all right?

Well, gentle reader, I have decided to do my own story here in these blog pages. 

Stay tuned for the did and the didn't of my career. 

Yes, all you people that ask: 

"Cubil, What happened?"

 with a sad tone in your voice will finally find out 

That yes: 

I did write write, record, and release a number of my own songs - and people liked them!

I did travel and play some tony (and tiny) gigs

I did appear on television many times, even national TV

Performed in front of  +50,000 fans multiple times... as well as (basically) empty rooms

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I'm looking forward to figuring out what happened myself, this could be fun!

Unexplored Worlds

 

I had a request for an early morning tuning at a school. I wasn't happy about it, 'don't consider myself an early morning person. I got to the school, knocked out the piano tuning, and split before 9am. Low on groceries, so a stop by the Kroger was in order. Wow! Nearly empty parking lot! It dawned (NPI) that there is a whole early morning world out there I have been sleeping through. It brings to mind the late night world I once inhabited years ago in my 20's. 

Some stores stay open late, so I would do some shopping at 1am- 2am. Wearing my tuxedo (lounge band attire) having the store pretty much to myself and whatever other weirdos happen to be there.

The great thing about early up and at'em is you feel soo productive! Puttering can take 7/8 of our lives if we let it. When you're done, you realize you haven't really done anything but waste time.

Marriage

 "What do you Love Most about Your Spouse?"

That was the question on the website. I smiled thinking of her. I've smiled when thinking about her since the day we met. 😊

It is due to the way we connect. (Amazingly well). 

The sound of her voice.

Her laughter. - I really do love that...

Her compassion for people and animals.

Her fashion sense - a good dresser, and pretty woman to boot!

What I love most honey is all the things you are.

Love and Death

 Ah, Love and Death, two of our most compelling subjects. They seem to come together for real when death shows up. 

Death of someone we have known is sad and unfortunate. We feel for that family experiencing grief. It gets real  when it is someone close to us, like a member of the family. Often that member is of another species (our pet). Although as I get older, less so.  

When I think about all the animals we've had in our home (as an adult) it adds up quick. My first was a bull terrier at the young age of 19. Since then, something like 10 other dogs have been under my roof, often two at a time. A pet is a lifelong relationship. Theirs, not yours. When the end of their life comes, it's on YOU. 

You have probably figured out where this is going... yep, a four footed member of our household has stepped on a rainbow.  

He had been sick with a tumor for over a year, and the tumor (in his neck) crushed his esophagus making it impossible to eat or drink. His mind and his heart were strong all the way to the end. 

I too have an esophagus issue, but not the scope of dog (Jack White). I can mostly eat (carefully) and rarely choke. So I identified with his issues the whole past year. I also identified with his tendency to obey a command - if he agreed with it. The past year was spent wondering when it had gone on long enough to be a mercy ending his life for him. 

Months ago it seemed his quality of life had diminished to the point that the 'last ride' was upon us. But like the Monty Python scene when I was about to put him in the car he perked up, tail wagging, all enthusiastic. THAT wasn't going to work. 

Even on the morning we did go, he was calm, low energy, jumped down from my arms to smell the smells. I thought "here we go again". But we got through it with no more bursts of energy. Just as the doctor was coming at him with his shot, Jack began choking (as he has been doing every 5 minutes for months). Odd how that was reassuring to me that we were at the right place at the right time.

All life-long relationships end in death (or they wouldn't be life-long). It's sad, but it's a poetic sadness. Like the great truth that it is.   

Year of the RV

 Yeah, so we spent Covid year doing some tent camping, that was nice, but not as comfy as we would like while enjoying the great outdoors. Spousal Unit and I have talked about getting a travel trailer but not really done much but window shop (or Craigslist shop). 

Well, between Christmas and New Year, we saw a small trailer that looked very interesting on C.L. I contacted the seller and it was about 6 minutes from the house. We had to go, *'just to look'. Yep, seemed pretty good, yep, we were the proud owners of a 2008 small travel trailer (now named Moon Dancer). 

It seems everyone we know has at least a fantasy of hitting the road with an RV. Let me say this: do your homework. It can be really complicated. After purchasing ours, I spent roughly 2 hours a day on Youtube watching videos that explained all the ways I could screw up the RV experience. 

Also, don't imagine you are going to save money with your own 'house on wheels'. Unless you normally stay at the Four Seasons, you will spend at least as much as you would at hotels, Air BnB, etc. 

Am I trying to warn you off? No! I don't regret our impulsive purchase. We are looking forward to a summer of wonderful escapes from the big city. The trips we've been on so far have been a blast!

*If you have ever gone 'just to look' at anything, you know I mean 'we are probably buying. 

Cycles of the Seven Year Variety

There is a theory that we tend to change on many levels in 7 year cycles. Physically, emotionally, etc. I have always accepted that as probably true, but not done much with it otherwise. Can you describe them in 100 words or less? Can I? 

First Cycle 1953 - 1960 ages 0-7

Ah, born in Chicago in 1953. My earliest memory was living across the street from a very large park called Garfield Park The park would fill up with snow in the winter months and create a wonderland to my 4 year old eyes...

* Whose woods these are, I think I know - his house is in the village so
He will not see me stopping here,  to watch his woods fill up with snow.

I remember coming into consciousness at this location. I had my own room, and was busy coloring on the wall when I heard people at the front door. Hmm, danger! my brain said (no idea why) and I hid under the bed. They went to tell my mother I was not in my room. I then appeared from under my bed. Mother not happy about my hiding or coloring on the wall. My Grandparents (the visitors) engaged me and talked with me, not AT me like my mother. I liked them.

Second Cycle 1960 - 1967 ages 7-14

A little school boy now... became a cub scout, didn't like school much, and was very bullied by my mom. When I say bullied, I mean child abuse, emotional abuse, the whole nine yards. Not a happy time. I did all I could to stay out of the house; hit the door early and not come back till almost dark. Started walking to a church about 3/4 of a mile away on Sunday morning. Didn't ask anyone, just did it. Several times Minister visited the house to see what the heck was going on there. (ha).

Discovering music was a game changer... I got my father to show me what he knew on guitar, (a five chord progression) and worked it from there. Did my first public performance in 5th grade backing a girl singing Downtown by Petula Clark.

Got a growth spurt around age 12, that put an end to my motherly beatings.

Third Cycle 1967- 1974 ages 14-21

 Entered all-boy vocational High School at 13, terrible first year. It was like a prison run by the inmates. Some of the older "boys" were in the 20's. They somehow kept enrolled so's not to get drafted. I cut school all sophomore year, earned 1 credit (I think it was gym). 
Started my third year a year behind, so with the help of some teacher/allies, I attended class day and night and summers until it was time to graduate in the summer of 1970. Didn't make it out with my class, a math teacher I had political disagreements with failed me (after assuring me he would send me on), so I had to take Algebra I for the third time in summer session. An official graduate though!
Left home at 17. Got my own place, supported myself. Met a girl. Moved to Houston. Bye bye Chicago.
In Houston actually got married the summer I turned 20! (1973) Wow! That sounds nuts huh? Now worries, it only lasted about 18 months and she bailed.
Leaving 1974 for...

Fourth Cycle 1974 - 1980 ages 21-27

Things picking up. Got in a band I could pay the rent with, quit my day job. After a year of this, my bride said, "I'm gonna go visit my friends in Chicago" (and filed for divorce). The very harshest of emotional times for me to that date.
If I were to make an appearance to my 22 year old self I would explain: "Hey, you're just starting a new cycle, relax, everything is in divine order". Better days (and nights) ahead.
Eventually fell in love, wrote a bunch of songs, played a great deal many shows right up until I could see the end in site about 1980. Married (again in 1979) with child, mortgage, needing to figure out a new career.
Wow! Piano Tuning!?

Fifth Cycle 1981 - 1987 ages 28- 34

Goodness time flies when you are in the thick of it! Worked two full time jobs nearly two years. Became competent as a tuner, became a father for the second time, built a business I could support a family with, while continuing to play music on the weekends. Funny some of these cycles seem to have flown by. Fancy plan: come up with a way to franchise piano tuning. - Didn't work. 

So life was family, church, band, pianos, repeat. No real complaints. Actually quite fulfilling. 

Sixth Cycle 1988 - 1994 ages 35 -41

Looking back, it all seems like such a blur. When you try to pick out a few words to describe 2555 days, you realize it can't be done. Children growing, still busy as a musician / band leader, trying to keep my marriage going, it was a lot of juggling. A busy life is like a ride on the Autobahn on BMW motorcycle - keep focused on what's coming in front of you. 

Seventh Cycle 1993 - 2000 ages 42 - 48

If you are hitting 40, relax. I found it to be the best decade of my life. Still young enough to do foolish things, but smart enough to not get caught. (ha). Some innate sense says "it's your last decade to be young, still look good, feel good, and you have a few bucks. 

Midlife crises hits. Strong urge to hit 'reset', but after a turbulent time, don't. Marriage improves, Strangest time of my adult life. Renting pianos for concerts kick into high gear, and some light traveling take me and my pianos around Texas and Louisiana. 

Eighth Cycle 2001 - 2007 ages 49- - 55

Still playing music for weddings, corporate events, etc. Got a retail store going, full blown music business. Wound up being in charge of Mother as dementia took over and made living on her own impossible. Not an easy time, but did the best I could with what I had to work with; me, her, sisters, nursing homes, etc. J.C. made it to January 2008 before crossing over. 

Having employees let me go off playing jobs out of town, spouse holding down the fort. Kids grown up, house paid for things going pretty well until wait, what's that? 2008 coming up?

Ninth Cycle 2008 - 2014 ages 56 - 62

Ah the Great Recession is here! I am fortunate enough to recognize that business is slowing when it "should" be growing. Liquidated the store quickly and tried to find my next move. Very nearly became a truck driver. Instead piano backline took off. Marriage faltering at the 35 year mark. Working a vocal duo at  this point. 

Tenth Cycle 2015 - 2022 ages 63 - 70

Newly single. Is this what they call the Second Act? Yes must be so. The question now is "What do I Really Want?" Takes a while to let go of We  and pick up Me. 'Don't mean that in a selfish way, but the number of years left is not many, so let's figure out how to make them count in some way. I will say it is nice to be here in the 10th cycle. Thanks for tuning in. 


Eleventh Cycle 2023 - 2030

Good God really? I haven't looked at this in some years so a smile is warranted due to my frame of mind in 2015. Facing the great unknown after divorce, I am reminded that we really never know the future. We can make our plans and hope they happen, but you know how that (often) goes. Had my first date with the wonderful Karen L on September 5, 2015. One thing led to another and we just celebrated our 7th anniversary. Both retired, doing well, traveling, being grandparents and so on. Our health(s) are reasonable well, but at this age, you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. In other words, fit as a fiddle now, in hospital next week. Most of us don't see these things coming, we imagine this is how things are now and forever will be. I heard some financial planners say at this (my) age, I should only shine my light on the next 2 years. Makes sense to me.