A Hamburger now for payment next Tuesday

Being a 'Lord of Land(s) is not dull, and often rather amusing (when it's not terrifying). We have 2 small properties we own and lease to people seeking shelter from the heat. At present we are marketing one of them as our prior tenants skipped out a month ago.
Not being Caldwell Banker or Century 22, seems to lead just about everyone with an angle to our door.
I know people gotta have a place to live, etc. And that includes felons, bankrupties, people with pets with reputations for killing people, and so on. We weed them out with our criteria list usually. That explains why so often we are left with people who didn't read the list or don't think we mean it.

I got a nice note from a young lady informing me she had just signed a lease with her present landlord, but would break it if I could give her a better deal... How exciting!

We had a fella with a roomate who offered to rent the house at $145 discount/month in exchange for him signing an 18 month lease instead of a 12 month lease. The same man told me clearly how his credit was bad and he didn't make much money right now. He felt I should take it because ultimately he would pay more in the 18 months than I would collect in a regular 12 month lease. He even did the math for me!

It reminds me of a time many summers ago when management was changed in a resort my band had worked for about 3 years. Of course I was canned and dirt cheap teenage bands were brought in. After a few weeks, the agent booking the room called to offer me the rest of the summer if I brought my group back. I told him what I had been getting (good money and perks). He said "oh no, they're not doing anything like that now." So I asked "why should I be interested in coming back if they don't at least match what I've been making?" His (sincere) reply: "This is EVERY WEEK for the rest of the summer!" Can these two guys be related?

Anyway, if you know somebody reasonably set that needs a comfortable place to live...